How to be outgoing

How to be outgoing.
Image by Lotus Head

We hit the jackpot…

A lot of people have been asking me about how to have good, confident conversations.

Obviously, this is the first step in how to be more outgoing.

In addition to my personal experience coaching people through this, I’m going to pull from a book called How to Be a People Magnet: Finding Friends and Lovers and Keeping Them for Life by Leil Lowndes (she’s a woman). It’s a great book with a lot of useful, practical information that you can use to start a conversation online or real life.

And, in addition to giving great advice, Lowndes understands what it’s like to be stuck in a rut. She writes:

You stand at the doorway of the party. Everyone is laughing, schmoozing, drinking, munching, and having such a good time.
They all seem to know each other. Your knees are knocking together so loudly that you’re sure in a minute they’re all going to turn and look at you.

Now, I don’t know about you, but this situation is pretty familiar to me. I used to feel like this all the time.

Luckily, I learned a few things so I’m now fairly comfortable socially.

Lowndes does a good job with tips to being more outgoing, being likeable, and starting conversations with confidence. I’m going to go over a few points in her book with you here, and dig a little deeper in our guide on how to be more outgoing that we have for sale.

Lowndes’s tip #1 for how to be outgoing:
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Change your perspective and listen from the other person’s point of view.

This lets the person you’re talking to know that you’re listening and interested. It seems simple, but really paying attention and later re-phrasing something the person said in your own words will make them like you.

Tip #2 for how to be more approachable:
Make eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Look at their eyes, in a friendly, inviting way until they make eye contact with you.

This is so effective because most of us go through our busy days making no connections with people. You can make a connection with someone and make them feel special simply by acknowledging that they are a real live person with your eye contact. As you get better at this, you’ll also be able to use it to flirt.

Tip # 3 for how to be more outgoing:
Say “Thank you”.

Showing your appreciation with a simple “Thanks!” goes a long way to build a bridge with someone. One of the things we yearn for appreciation, so give people what they want and make their day.

When you are telling someone thank you, it will have even MORE impact if you tell them WHY you’re grateful.

Having successful conversations is a skill you can learn.
Image by Bobbie Dombrowski

Tip #4 on how to be more confident
The more you feel in control of a situation, the more confident you will be. One way to really understand the way someone is feeling is to pay close attention to their body language.

People often say a lot more with their gestures and body language than they do with their words. Pay attention to what their body is saying and respond to that as much as their words.

Tip #5 on how to be more popular
Smile. Yes, we are back to this simple technique again. You’ve heard it a thousand times.

But in this case you might try a different kind of smile… look at the person and see the great things in him or her, then let your smile slowly fill your face from your heart.

As you do this more and more, you will find a smile coming to your face easier and easier. Soon you’ll be drawing people in with just this genuine smile.

Tip #6 for how to have a conversation
When you are first meeting someone and you want to make a good, outgoing impression on them, you have to keep the conversation going.

Here’s what I suggest: First, be high energy, exciting and fun. Second, give long answers to questions… explain what you mean and give personal details. And third, when you are finished talking, ask a question.

Tip #7 for how to be more outgoing
Start a conversation with a stranger… lots of them! (Yikes!)

This one used to scare the crap out of me. But, it was probably the single most important thing I did to get over being shy. I would simply FORCE myself to talk to people.

I’d smile, make eye contact, smile with my eyes, and use a conversation starter. To my surprise, even if what I said wasn’t all that interesting, people would still react well to me. Almost always smiling back and getting the conversation started off on the right foot.

Each of the things I talked about in this article were ones I selected from 55 different tips in the book How to Be a People Magnet: Finding Friends and Lovers and Keeping Them for Life by Leil Lowndes. It’s a great book. It doesn’t just show you how to be more outgoing, it shows you how to be more confident and enjoy your life more.

Also, I put together an entire program for you on how to start conversations, become more confident, and be outgoing. I give you the things that worked the best for me to go from a shy, awkward, and lonely guy to become happy, outgoing and confident. My guess is that it will work for you too. Click here for the secrets to being liked and how to be more outgoing..