How To Be Confident Online

Here’s something you have to understand: women will find it very attractive if you’re self-assured. OK, maybe that’s not a big surprise. You hear all the time that confident guys are way better with girls—maybe you even know someone in your own life who demonstrates that.

But–contrary to popular opinion–confidence isn’t something that you are born with, it’s something you develop by being good at the things you do and comes from the knowledge that you can handle a variety of situations that you will potentially find yourself in. And yes, it definitely displays a variety of different qualities that women are attracted to.

One of the only ways to gain confidence is to put yourself in a variety of different situations and learn how to adapt your actions and personality to get the results you want.

A suggestion I have for you is to go to fmylife.com and picture yourself in some of the situations there. Then think about how a confident, self-assured person would handle themselves if faced with that. This will also increase your social perception, which will help you understand how others affect your social world and how other people affect your life. fmylife.com, if you haven’t seen it before, is a site where people gather to write about the crappy things that happen in their lives.

A little depressing, yes. But if used as a learning tool to increase your confidence, then it’s worth it. Relationship posts are all over the site, and it’s crazy to see how many wacky things go on out there on a regular basis. It’ll open your eyes.

As far as actually demonstrating that you have confidence to a woman it’s best to let her see it in real life. But when dating online that isn’t an option—at least not right off the bat. So you have to do it using your profile, email messages and phone conversations. If you haven’t yet, check out my posts on profile writing and sending emails to get the information.

And as far as developing good phone presence, here are some tips that will help taken from my book Instant Internet Attraction:

• Slow down. Keep your rate of speech a little slower than you normally would.
• Speak from your chest, not your throat. This will make a huge difference in the way your voice feels.
• Know what you’re going to say before you say it. This eliminates “um’s” and “ahhh’s”. if you need time to think of the next thing to say, simply be silent. A pause in the conversation is much better than a filler word.
• Speak loudly and say each word clearly without slurring your words together.
• Stand up and even walk around the room slowly with your head and chest up while you’re on the phone.

Developing confidence and self-assurance is critical to your success with women. Try some of the things outlined here, and really work at making a change if you feel you’re lacking in this department. Like anything else worthwhile in life, it takes some effort to get this stuff to work.

If you’re really having trouble and want some personalized ideas to help you out, contact me and we’ll get you headed in the right direction.

Talk to you again soon–JT