Internet dating tips—more about maintaining high status
Since it really is important, I’d like to go over a bit more on having perceived “high status” when internet dating. I’ll probably do one more on it as well, and then we’ll move on to a different subject. Bear with me here, it’ll help you out I promise!!
Aside from what we went over **last time**, another way that women process status is that they just assume that guys they meet in certain situations have similar status as the other guys they see in those situations. Now this doesn’t always bode well for you when you’re dating online because there are some really freaking weird guys out there trying it. Now there really aren’t a lot of them, but they do draw a lot of attention to themselves. Your value automatically goes down just by being in the same general category as these nut burgers. For some reason the reverse is not true…there are a lot of crazy women dating online, but it doesn’t make us lump them all in that category. Must be because we’re horny bastards .
Actually, it’s probably because there are weirdo women online and the crazy ones women don’t interact with as many men as guys do women. So while we KNOW there are some freaky women (the bad kind, not the good kind) dating online and it lowers the value of any women we meet there, the value for a man who is dating online is definitely viewed as far worse.
But we can turn that around and use it to our advantage really easily. Since the bar is set so low for guys dating online, women’s expectations are also low—so you can look really good just by getting a few things right.
Another thing to consider is that guys do send most of the messages and do the majority of the “chasing” online. Average or even unattractive women are getting messages on a daily basis which increases their self-worth and compliments them. That gets exacerbated when guys tell them they’re hot or have an attractive quality about them.
There are women out there bragging about things they otherwise would be embarrassed about because “a guy told me how sexy thick legs are.” Meanwhile I’m thinking, “are you out of your freaking mind!?!?” These women want to believe what the guys are saying because it makes them feel better about something they were previously self-conscious about. The way to avoid this is to NOT compliment and NOT chase.
We’ve talked about this before, but I’ll say it again: your value is a matter of perception. One really effective way to show that you are high status is very simple—withhold your approval.
For example, say you’re emailing a really attractive girl. What you need to do is show her that even though she is pretty, she’s gonna need more than looks to keep your interest. Don’t just automatically give her your stamp of approval. Make her work for it. Doing so shows high standards, and every woman wants to be with a guy who has high standards. This way, when you do eventually compliment her on her looks, it will mean something. Just like anything else, if that compliment is too easily earned it will have little value.
One of my favorite movie lines is from the movie Fresh. There’s a scene where the main character is trying to prove to his sister, a self hating, drug addict, that she is loved. He says to her “Aunt Francis loves you.” and his sister replies, “Aunt Francis is a fucking saint. She loves every damn dog in the street the same as she loves me. Ain’t no shit to be loved by no fuckin’ Aunt Francis.”
If, like Aunt Francis, you give away your interest, love or attention willy-nilly it has no value.
When your attention is hard to come by, or when someone has to actually work to earn your respect—that’s when you become high status.
Take some of this information and incorporate it into your emails and other contacts with women you meet online and you’ll see a big difference in their reactions. If you have questions or need some one-on-one coaching, contact me and we’ll work together to get you the results you want.