Great first email compliments of a blog reader

Today I’m going to take some time and talk about online dating emails. I’ve been gettinga quite a few questions about this lately…

Which is great news because sending emails is really the second step in the online dating process.

That means you guys are getting to the point where you have a profile that is working!

Congrats!!!

Also, guys… after a year of doing this site, things are really taking off and we are heading in the direction I want to see us go in.

I want to thank you for that.

I love the email below because this guy is sharing something that’s worked for him. My hope is that as we grow as a community, we will help each other out and really connect, make friendships, and become a place where guys can really make a difference for each other.

Anyway, here’s a message I got from someone yesterday.

Hey man,

I came across your site a few days ago after starting my second round of online dating this week. I just wanted to change my profile to get more hits than before. I was seeing 3-4 women a week the last time I did this about four months ago, and wanted to better weed out some of
my choices.

I’m not yet ready to buy your book; I’m going to see what my first
five dates are like first. And I have to change my profile to match
better some of your suggestions. This is a great site! I’m just tired
of putting in the effort emailing first. But I would like to share a
good first email that seems to work on more than half the women I try it on. It’s a kind of “thanks” for the quality articles I’ve already
read on this site.

I don’t know why it works, but when I see one of those stupid lists
from women about what they’re looking for, I make a smart-assed
comment on each of the points in the list, like this recent one I’m
pasting below. She replied with an “okay, you got my attention,” and started telling me a little bit about herself. I don’t know if you
want to use it for an article, just wait until after my first date
with her, though. 😛

One question: You mentioned somewhere about a secret technique to get profiles at the top of searches, kind of “tricking” the system. Is that information in one of your books, or is that a secret you won’t let go of?

Anyway, thanks again for this service,

Tim
——–
Here, let’s have some fun:

-Would Laugh at my stupid jokes

So…how stupid we talking here?

-Would Hold my hand just because

Especially when crossing the street.

-Would Kiss me spontaneously

We’ll wait to see after the first date or two goes well.

-Would Hold me like he never wants to let go

I promise I won’t crush you!

-Would Call me just to say goodnight

But it’s too early to even have your phone number!

-Would Cuddle with me every night that we are together and when we aren’t, he’s thinking about cuddling with me

Well, what’s best for me is if I lie on my side like this, and you
spoon up beside me, your arm draped over me. If we do it the other
way- (rolls over) I get your hair caught in my throat and I choke in
the night.

-Would Move the hair from my eyes and then kiss me

Do you have a problem with your hair over your eyes?

-Would Sing to me at random moments

You REALLY don’t want me doing that.

-Would Kiss me in the pouring rain

But what if we catch cold!?

-Would Make me the happiest woman alive.

We’ll even get you a Guinness Book write-up.

My thoughts…

First of all, the way I “trick” the system is something really easy to do, and I’ll write that up in the next post. Actually, maybe I’ll just give you the whole write-up that I give to guys who pay me to write their profiles for them. Either way, here’s a link to that post.

I really like what “Tim” has done here. He mentioned that he’s getting about half the women he writes something like this to respond…

And guys, let’s not kid ourselves. If you are getting a 50% response rate on first emails you’re sending, YOU’RE KICKING SOME SERIOUS ASS.

So… here are my comments on WHY this works, and HOW to make it work even better…

First of all, you know I’m always harping on you guys to write your messages so that the woman knows you read her profile. Well, this technique leaves no doubt that you’ve read her profile. That in-and-of itself is a great start and will differentiate you from most guys.

Also, it shows he’s got a good sense of humor. Something that I don’t believe is attractive to women on its own. (Read more here.) But it shows social intelligence, which women find very attractive.

And speaking of social intelligence, his responses to her list show that this guy gets it!

Here’s what he does that I love:

-Would Hold my hand just because

Especially when crossing the street.

Tells her that he doesn’t take her too seriously, and he’s going to hold her hand like you would a little kid’s as they cross the street.

-Would Kiss me spontaneously

We’ll wait to see after the first date or two goes well.

Sweet. This shows that he is one, going to screen her before he decides if she gets a kiss. this proves that he has options and standards. And two, he’s willing to take things slow, although you start throwing comments like this out there and it ups your odds of taking her to bed on the first date.

-Would Cuddle with me every night that we are together and when we
aren’t, he’s thinking about cuddling with me

Well, what’s best for me is if I lie on my side like this, and you
spoon up beside me, your arm draped over me. If we do it the other
way- (rolls over) I get your hair caught in my throat and I choke in
the night.

Nice. Great imagery here along with an assumption that the two of you will be spooning. And it’s kinda cute with the choking on her hair.

-Would Move the hair from my eyes and then kiss me

Do you have a problem with your hair over your eyes?

-Would Kiss me in the pouring rain

But what if we catch cold!?

Both of these are beautiful! He totally ignores the “kissing” part and focuses on the hair in her eyes or getting sick. It’s like he’s uninterested in her sexually. And this will often get women to be more sexual with you. I can explain why in a later post, it’s a power thing.

-Would Make me the happiest woman alive.

We’ll even get you a Guinness Book write-up.

This is just cute. It’s also great because it has a subliminal says that others approve and they will have the adoration of others. And yes, I know that might be stretching it a little, but I can assure you that when you say things like that, you trip those reactions in women.

Now…

I said I’d show some ways to improve on this technique… So what about the 50% who don’t answer?

How do we get them to respond? You know what?

After thinking about it some more… WE DON’T.

This message does a GREAT job of filtering out women who are going to be more trouble than they are worth. Half the battle in online dating is to keep from wasting your time with women who you aren’t going to work with no matter what. It’s why I went on and on in this post about women you’re better off staying the hell away from.

Yep, we might be able to get the response rate up to 80%, but that 30% extra is just going to suck up our time, be a pain in the ass, and keep us from focusing on the women we are going to click with.

So forget them if they don’t get it.

Oh, and notice what he DOESN’T do.

• No groveling.
• No ass kissing.
• No mention of how hot she is.
• No trying to “connect” with her on stupid shit.
• No personal life story.

Now, go back up in this post and click through to the links you are interested in. there is some great stuff in those other posts.