A really good online dating email and WHY it works so well

So, you’ve sent out some emails to women you’ve found on an online dating site.

You check back in a few minutes and no replies yet.

No problem, it might be too soon.

An hour later… nothing. Okay, you can live with that.

A few hours later.

Still nothing. What’s going on?!?

The next f*#*ing day? Nope, not a single girl has replied to one of your messages.

Well, you’re not alone. That’s the case for about every guy who is dating online these days.

So, as I promised yesterday, I’m going to give you a breakdown of a really good online dating email we’ve been sending.

And to catch you up, “we” is me and 32 other guys who tested 400+ initial emails to girls.

And a “good email” is one that got at least 50% of the women we sent it to to respond.

Here’s the example we are working with from yesterday’s post:

Hi Steph,

Okay. I only have about 15 minutes here I have to crash, but I just have to write quick. God, I hope you are still active on this eHarmony thing. I’m intrigued. There are 3-4 things in your profile that really stood out. I’ll mention a few here before I get to bed.

I was impressed that you actually take the time to make the little things happen. Says that you probably do the same with the big things in your life, but can step out of your life and enjoy the journey.

You piqued my interests when you stated you enjoy local fund raising. Combine that with the career choice of being a nurse: Compassion. Empathy. Caring. Kindness.

Please send a quick note back. Would love to hear back from you.

Enjoy!! Justin

First of all, I want to point out that this, and all of my other online dating email messages, doesn’t mention sex or her looks.

But it DOES compliment her on who she is as a person.

What we are trying to do here is figure out what she most likes about herself, and then tell her that we see those things in her.

To do that, you have to read her profile… kind of.

See, most people think pretty much the same great things about themselves. So all you have to do is skim her profile and look to see if she’s proud of being independent, a mother, her career, or whatever. Then you copy and paste a few words into the email template above, and you are all set.

Okay, on to the message:

We start it by telling her that we are taking time out for her. In this case we want to go to bed and we’re staying up just to email her. But, it could be that you’re going to be late for something, or that you won’t have time to get ready to go out.

This is a compliment to her. It means you are making her a priority and it tells her that you were so compelled to write her you had to stop what you were doing and contact her.

Second, we tell her we read her profile and we are interested or intrigued. Another compliment, and this will make her curious what we were intrigued by, so she will read the rest of the email.

Third, we SHOW we actually read her profile by paraphrasing what she’s said in her write-up.

Then we show how we were “sucked in” by this incredible person she must be. And we go on to tell her what has so inexplicably drawn us to her.

Women love this by the way. They like to feel like the seducer, like they are wanted, they want to imagine that you can’t resist them.

Next, we end the message by telling her what we’d like her to do. In this case we want her to send us a message, so we tell her that. sometimes, even when it’s obvious, you have to tell women what you want from them. it’s the little push they sometimes need.

Notice that we used “PLEASE send a quick message…” and not just “Send a quick message…” We tested both, and the please won out by a little bit. BUT if you are sending a message to a super attractive woman, it’s better to just ask without the please.

And speaking of super hot girls, I have an email I sent yesterday to a part-time model that got me a date for tonight. It’s a test email with a little different feel to it, but maybe I’ll put that up for you tomorrow and tell you why I wrote it the way I did.

Anyway, try these methods for yourself. This stuff works, you just have to try it!

Here are all my best posts on dating emails that women reply to.

Talk later– JT