What you need to know about your profile pictures

Don’t think for a second that you can get away with making a profile that doesn’t include a picture. Profiles that have a picture get at least three times the response rate of those that don’t. Every study ever done and every single profile test we’ve run and continue to run show the same exact thing.

One of the things you have to do for sure is use current pictures. Six months old or less. Hey, I looked better 5 years ago too…but that doesn’t mean I can use those pictures on my profile. It really isn’t going to do any good showing up to your first date 35 pounds heavier than you are in your photos, since all you’re going to do is turn her off. It shows right off the bat that you aren’t honest, and that she might not be attracted to you. I know, I know, it’s not like you’re really lying, because, hey—it IS you in the pictures, right? Well, tell yourself that all day long, but she isn’t going to agree with you.

Use an ACTUAL photo

Some people think it’s better to use an illustration, or some kind of Photoshop wizardry to make a cool picture (or hide whatever it is that you don’t want to show or are insecure about). Or even a picture of something else, not even you. In the testing we did with this idea it cut our responses one third compared to when we used a real photo. Now that’s not as bad as trying to go without a picture, but it still isn’t a good plan.

The only good thing that came from using one of the fake pictures is that it gives an easy talking point to anyone who actually does respond to you. Out of all the emails we got when using one of these asked for an actual picture or talked about the fake one. But the thing is, when we used actual photos almost everyone asked about one of those too. So it leads me to believe that it’s having the photo that matters more than anything.

Photos where you can’t see the details of your face

Now this is something that really works for getting initial responses from women. A picture that didn’t really show the details your face but showed you doing something interesting is an option that you should definitely consider.

This type of photo can get even as many responses as one that shows your face full on. The only thing is that the photo has to show you doing something intriguing, or be interesting in and of itself, AND you have to have a great profile. While this is a great one to have, many of the major dating sites require your main photo to be a face shot.

Addressing major issues

Ok, now if you have something major that you’re insecure about, or that you have to disclose (you’re crippled, have one arm, or in my case you have a smashed up ears), you need to address it. You can do that either in your pictures or somewhere in your profile. But the most important thing is to do it before you meet in person.

Do not apologize. The thing is, if you’re comfortable with whatever is “wrong” with you, then everyone else will be too. It’s that people don’t really know how to react to those kinds of things, so they’ll take their cue from you in that regard. If you frame the experience and show that you’re comfortable with yourself everyone else will be too.

Like I said before, I have smashed up ears. You could even call them mutilated, but that might be a little harsh. Not much though. Some women, after I’ve gotten to know them for a while, have told me that they at first thought my ears were a turn off. Regardless, I make it a point to bring them up early in the first conversation. Notice, I’ve gotten to know them for a while—so it couldn’t have been too bad 😉

This is the paraphrase of what I say, and what I send to my coaching guys who are trying to do the same thing. If you have an issue, especially a fight related injury, feel free to use it:

How do you like my ear? Pretty cool, huh? My best friend did this to me, some friend, huh? He had a great left hook and I was never good enough to slip it. He hit me so much that it ended up looking like this. I love it. People ‘in the know’ know that I must be pretty tough. Or maybe they figure I must not be all that good if I get hit so much. Either way, they know I’ve been through some shit. It’s not like you get an ear like this from playing checkers.
Then I go into a story about how people ask me if I fight in the UFC or if I’ve ever played rugby. Or I tell the story about the commentators talking about my ear when I fought live on ESPN.

All of that is purposely designed to be funny, show social acceptance, and illustrate that I’m proud of my deformity.

I say that I love my ear. It’s a badge of honor. That people “in the know” respect me for it. That other people are comfortable bringing it up. I end the story with something that makes me unique, either being on TV or having strangers come up to me and ask about it. I create the reality for the woman.

Again, you can do the same thing for anything that you find strange about yourself. Anything can be turned around if you spin it right, and made into a positive. You can even make something attractive that was previously “unattractive”. It boils down to the stories you tell and the attitude you portray.

These are some picture basics you can follow, and we go a lot more in-depth in Magnetic Profiles and Instant Internet Attraction. We’ve also got some more great free info to look at in another post about improving the pictures on your profile.